Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
