there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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