I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
