Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
