He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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