just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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