i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
