WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
