he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize