So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's shark week go big or go home
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
