just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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