If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
