belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
one might say we're banned from that church
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
