im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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