I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
