Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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