I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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