Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
