Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
this just has baby written all over it
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
