But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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