Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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