Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
