I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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