Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
