My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
id be glad to
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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