why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
