You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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