I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
