My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize