Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
