Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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