im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
