do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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