The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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