and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
