R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
