from now on my penis is your penis
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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