Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
