Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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