i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
