how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
