I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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