Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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