those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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