yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
