you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize