sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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