im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
