Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
