I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
