Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
