the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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