i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
