Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize