The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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