We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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