I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
