We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
